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Domestic abuse can happen to anyone regardless of age, background, or gender, but it overwhelmingly affects women and girls. Whether you’re looking for answers, support, or ways to help someone else, this page can help you understand what domestic abuse is, how to spot the signs, and where to turn for help.
Domestic abuse is a pattern of harmful behaviour used to control, frighten, or hurt another person in a relationship. It can happen between partners or family members and often involves more than one type of abuse. Abuse isn’t just physical, it can also be:
Whilst both men and women may experience incidents of inter-personal violence and abuse, there are important differences between male violence against women and female violence against men, namely the amount, severity and impact. Women experience higher rates of repeated victimisation and are much more likely to be seriously hurt or killed than male victims of domestic abuse.
Further to that, women are more likely to experience higher levels of fear and are more likely to be subjected to coercive and controlling behaviours. It is particularly important to understand that men do not experience domestic abuse as part of embedded, structural inequalities against their sex.
Domestic abuse perpetrated by men against women is rooted in women’s unequal status in society and is part of the wider social problem of male violence against women and girls. Women’s Aid Federation found that sexism and misogyny set the scene for male abusive partners’ coercive and controlling behaviours. Sexism and misogyny serve to excuse abusive behaviour by men in intimate relationships with women and put up barriers to female survivors being believed and supported to leave abusive men. Read more.
Abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be in an abusive relationship, or know someone who is, if you notice any of the following:
Feeling afraid of your partner or like you’re “walking on eggshells”
Being told what to wear, where to go, or who to talk to
Being blamed for everything that goes wrong
Having your money, phone, or important documents taken away
Being physically harmed or threatened
Being forced or pressured into sexual activity
Being constantly criticised, belittled, or made to feel worthless
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. Support is available and there are ways to stay safe.
Domestic abuse is very common. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience it in their lifetime. It can happen to anyone, in any community or background.
Domestic abuse is about power and control. It happens when someone uses abuse to dominate, isolate, or frighten another person, often over time.
Warning signs of an abusive relationship include fear of your partner, constantly being criticised, isolated from others, controlled financially, or experiencing physical, sexual, or emotional harm.
The abuser is always responsible. Abuse is not caused by anger, stress, or alcohol. It’s a choice to harm and control another person.
It can cause lasting emotional, physical, and mental harm. Survivors may feel anxious, depressed, scared, isolated, and unsure of who they can trust.
Leaving can be incredibly hard. Many face fear, shame, financial barriers, concerns about children, or feel unsafe. Support and safety are key to leaving.
Children may feel scared, anxious, or confused. They may struggle with school, emotions, or relationships. But with the right support, healing is possible.
You are not alone. If you or someone you know is affected, support is available. Reach out whenever you are ready.
Domestic abuse isn’t just physical. It can also be emotional, sexual, financial, or controlling behaviour. All types are serious and can cause long-lasting harm.
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